In the weeks that followed our last conversation, we came to the same conclusion. We didn't know what God wanted, and Phillip still needed more time. So we kept waiting and praying, but my heart was being drawn closer to Phillip and I feared that if I let it continue, my heart would be very broken. On Thursday, April 7, 2011 I decided that I was going to take a big step back from my friendship with Phillip. After two hours of praying, processing and crying I decided I would not see Phillip outside of our regular ministry events, no more "hanging out", no more texting, no more phone calls. Instead that night, Phillip finally made up his mind and decided to pursue my heart, in a committed dating relationship! (For the whole story on that event please click here)
This is supposed to be the part where, we fall madly in love and leave all doubt and fear behind, and live happily ever after....
We did fall in love, but our trials were far from over. Phillip was working for an organization as a semester missionary, and according to his contract he could NOT date anyone. He contacted his supervisor and tried to get permission. He was denied.
At this point, my faith faltered. I didn't know what to do, was this a shut door? Thankfully, Phillip talked to his direct supervisor, who was a local pastor who knew us both well. He gave his permission for us to date, but again, many challenges would arise in the coming months. There were doubts, fears, insecurities and miscommunication, some that were normal and others that seemed completely unique and extreme. However, through every tear-filled night and every day of questioning God's will, Phillip and I knew one thing remained: God's will was going to be done no matter what, and we had to trust Him.
Don't get me wrong, we've had some fantastic adventures, and memories. And when Phillip proposed to me it was perfect! But these high mountaintops were at the end of some very deep valleys.
If we are being honest, we know exactly where would be if our will was accomplished in this relationship, we would not be together. It has been hard, very hard, but God has received so much glory! Many of you have followed our story, and can see how God has worked powerfully in our relationship; God didn't bring us together primarily for our "happiness" but He brought us together because it gives Him the MOST glory! God put me with Phillip because it refines us to the likeness of Christ, and because it is for our GOOD.
Many times, we act like young children, and we tell God what we want and expect Him to give us this "ideal/perfect" partner for life, as if we deserve that. But God in His grace and mercy, give us--not all the things we want--but gives us what we need and what is good for us! Almost every child, when left to their own will, would eat sugar all day long, and if you are a good parent who wants the best for your child, you will not let them eat sugar all day! You know that they need fruits, vegetables, grains, dairy, etc. How much more, will our Heavenly Father give us the GOOD things that we need!
It is our goal, that in our marriage God would be glorified in all we do, no matter what season we find ourselves in.
~Standing on His Promises~
Casey
***25 days***
This is supposed to be the part where, we fall madly in love and leave all doubt and fear behind, and live happily ever after....
We did fall in love, but our trials were far from over. Phillip was working for an organization as a semester missionary, and according to his contract he could NOT date anyone. He contacted his supervisor and tried to get permission. He was denied.
At this point, my faith faltered. I didn't know what to do, was this a shut door? Thankfully, Phillip talked to his direct supervisor, who was a local pastor who knew us both well. He gave his permission for us to date, but again, many challenges would arise in the coming months. There were doubts, fears, insecurities and miscommunication, some that were normal and others that seemed completely unique and extreme. However, through every tear-filled night and every day of questioning God's will, Phillip and I knew one thing remained: God's will was going to be done no matter what, and we had to trust Him.
Don't get me wrong, we've had some fantastic adventures, and memories. And when Phillip proposed to me it was perfect! But these high mountaintops were at the end of some very deep valleys.
If we are being honest, we know exactly where would be if our will was accomplished in this relationship, we would not be together. It has been hard, very hard, but God has received so much glory! Many of you have followed our story, and can see how God has worked powerfully in our relationship; God didn't bring us together primarily for our "happiness" but He brought us together because it gives Him the MOST glory! God put me with Phillip because it refines us to the likeness of Christ, and because it is for our GOOD.
Many times, we act like young children, and we tell God what we want and expect Him to give us this "ideal/perfect" partner for life, as if we deserve that. But God in His grace and mercy, give us--not all the things we want--but gives us what we need and what is good for us! Almost every child, when left to their own will, would eat sugar all day long, and if you are a good parent who wants the best for your child, you will not let them eat sugar all day! You know that they need fruits, vegetables, grains, dairy, etc. How much more, will our Heavenly Father give us the GOOD things that we need!
It is our goal, that in our marriage God would be glorified in all we do, no matter what season we find ourselves in.
~Standing on His Promises~
Casey
***25 days***
